Out of the Shadows: Healing from Religious Trauma as an LGBTQIA2S+ Person

Healing from religious trauma as an LGBTQIA2S+ person is an act of profound courage and resilience. For many of us, religion isn’t just a belief system—it’s a source of identity, community, and belonging. Yet when harmful doctrines and exclusionary practices intersect with queer identity, what should offer safety and connection often becomes a source of pain. Resources like LGBTQ therapy can be invaluable in navigating the complexities of these experiences, helping to rebuild a sense of belonging and self-acceptance.

This blog explores the nuanced impacts of religious trauma and spiritual abuse while offering compassionate guidance for stepping out of the shadows of harm and into the light of authenticity, joy, and self-acceptance.

What Is Religious Trauma?

According to Dr. Laura Anderson - a leading expert on religious trauma and licensed psychotherapist, as well as the Reclamation Collective - a community advocacy organization supporting those navigating harm within religious and spiritual spaces, provides the following definition:

Religious Trauma: the physical, emotional, or psychological response to religious beliefs, practices, or structures that overwhelm an individual’s ability to cope and return to a sense of safety.

For LGBTQIA2S+ individuals, this harm is often tied to adverse religious experiences that condemn their core identity. Whether through sermons, scripture, or the actions of leaders and communities, these messages often result in shame, fear, and a fractured sense of self. For many, working with an LGBTQIA2S+ therapist can provide the compassionate support needed to begin untangling these harmful experiences.

Key Experiences That May Contribute to Religious Trauma

Religious trauma often results from repeated exposure to harmful teachings, practices, or interpersonal dynamics within religious environments. These experiences can range from overt abuse to subtle but deeply impactful forms of spiritual harm. For LGBTQIA2S+ individuals, these harms often intersect with identity, creating unique challenges and layers of trauma.

Messages of Condemnation

Many religious traditions perpetuate the belief that LGBTQIA2S+ identities are inherently sinful, disordered, or in need of correction. These messages may be explicit—through sermons, doctrine, or scripture—or implicit, woven into cultural practices and unspoken norms. Over time, these teachings can lead to:

• Internalized shame: Believing you are unworthy or inherently flawed.

• Fear of punishment: Anxiety about divine retribution or eternal damnation.

• Distorted self-perception: Viewing your authentic self as something to be hidden or corrected.

For those raised in environments where these messages are reinforced from an early age, the effects can be profoundly damaging to self-esteem and identity development. LGBTQ therapy can provide a safe space to process these damaging narratives and rebuild a sense of self-acceptance.

Exclusion and Rejection

Religious communities often emphasize belonging and inclusion as central to spiritual life. However, many LGBTQIA2S+ individuals experience outright rejection from these spaces. This may take the form of:

• Being denied leadership roles: LGBTQIA2S+ members are frequently excluded from positions of influence or visibility within their faith communities.

• Exclusion from sacraments or rituals: In traditions where sacraments (such as communion, baptism, or marriage) hold deep spiritual significance, being denied access can feel like being cut off from divine grace.

• Loss of community support: Coming out can result in severed ties with spiritual mentors, friends, or entire congregations.

This rejection reinforces feelings of isolation and fosters a sense that there is no place for LGBTQIA2S+ people within religious life. For LGBTQIA2S+ individuals, rejection from faith communities is often deeply personal. Being excluded from leadership roles, sacraments, or rituals reinforces feelings of isolation. Such adverse religious experiences can sever a sense of belonging, but healing spaces with affirming professionals can help mend these fractures.

Spiritual Abuse

Spiritual abuse occurs when individuals in positions of religious authority misuse their power to control, manipulate, or harm others. This can include:

• Gaslighting: Undermining someone’s perception of reality by claiming their thoughts, feelings, or experiences are invalid or contrary to religious truth.

• Coercion: Pressuring individuals to conform to specific beliefs or behaviors under threat of spiritual consequences, such as damnation or exclusion.

• Exploitation: Using fear or religious authority to gain control over someone’s finances, time, or personal relationships.

For LGBTQIA2S+ individuals, spiritual abuse often centers around efforts to suppress or change their identity, reinforcing a narrative of unworthiness. Healing from these experiences is possible, especially with the help of NobleTree Therapy’s trained LGBTQIA2S+ therapists in St. Paul, MN, who can provide guidance and affirmation.

Conversion Therapy and Reparative Practices

Conversion therapy—any attempt to change an individual’s sexual orientation or gender identity through psychological or religious means—is one of the most extreme forms of harm LGBTQIA2S+ individuals may face. These practices are widely discredited and considered unethical, yet they persist in some religious contexts. Common elements of these harmful interventions include:

• Blaming the individual: Framing identity as a moral or spiritual failure.

• Invasive interventions: Forcing individuals to engage in prayer, fasting, or counseling designed to "fix" their queerness.

• Long-term psychological harm: Many survivors of conversion therapy report depression, anxiety, suicidal ideation, and a fractured sense of self.

Even individuals who have not undergone formal conversion therapy may face informal efforts to suppress their identity, such as being told to pray for change or avoid same-sex relationships.

Negative Religious Rhetoric About the Body

Many religious teachings present the body as something to be controlled, denied, or suppressed, especially when it comes to sexual orientation or gender identity. This can lead to:

• Body shame: Feeling disconnected from or disgusted by one’s physical self.

• Gender dysphoria: For transgender or nonbinary individuals, teachings that deny the validity of their identity can amplify feelings of disconnection and distress.

• Fear of intimacy: Viewing natural desires or expressions of love as sinful or dirty.

For LGBTQIA2S+ people, these messages create an additional layer of trauma by invalidating their lived experiences and disconnecting them from their bodies.

Internalized Harm and Self-Policing

When exposed to these harmful teachings and practices, many LGBTQIA2S+ individuals begin to internalize negative beliefs about themselves. This can lead to:

• Self-censorship: Hiding parts of yourself to fit within religious or cultural expectations.

• Guilt and self-blame: Feeling responsible for the pain or rejection experienced within religious spaces.

• Chronic self-doubt: Questioning your worthiness, morality, or ability to make good decisions.

Internalized harm often persists long after someone has left a religious community, making it difficult to fully embrace and celebrate their identity.

Fear-Based Theology

Fear-based theology emphasizes punishment, judgment, and divine wrath, creating an atmosphere of constant anxiety and hypervigilance. For LGBTQIA2S+ individuals, this often manifests as:

• Fear of divine punishment: Worrying that their identity or relationships will lead to eternal damnation.

• Reluctance to trust oneself: Being taught that personal intuition and desires are untrustworthy or sinful.

• Spiritual disconnection: Feeling alienated from any sense of a loving or affirming higher power.

This fear can prevent individuals from exploring alternative spiritual practices or rebuilding their relationship with the divine on their own terms.

Microaggressions and Subtle Exclusions

Not all religious trauma is overt; sometimes, it arises from repeated microaggressions and subtle exclusions. These may include:

• Tokenism: Being included as a “symbol” of diversity while still facing underlying prejudice.

• Conditional acceptance: Being welcomed into a community only if you remain silent about your identity.

• Language and tone: Hearing harmful phrases such as “love the sinner, hate the sin,” which may sound inclusive but ultimately reinforce shame.

Religious trauma may or may not be a singular event but is often an accumulation of adverse religious experiences over time, relationships, and a variety of situations. These small but persistent harms can accumulate over time, creating a sense of not truly belonging. As a result, these experiences can shape how we see ourselves, others, and the world, making healing a deeply personal and often complex process.

The Unique Intersection of Religion and LGBTQIA2S+ Identity

For many LGBTQIA2S+ individuals, religion is not just an external force—it’s deeply entwined with personal identity. This intersection creates a unique and often painful dynamic where the rejection from faith communities feels like a rejection of the self. In many religious traditions, rituals, teachings, and community gatherings shape the foundation of belonging. When these spaces reject LGBTQIA2S+ people, the harm is not only spiritual but also social, emotional, and existential. For some, the trauma comes from feeling like they must choose between their faith and their identity—a false dichotomy that can fracture a sense of wholeness. Recognizing this intersection is essential. Healing requires not only addressing the trauma but also affirming the sacredness and completeness of LGBTQIA2S+ identity. You are not broken; the systems and teachings that caused harm are.

Naming the Harm: Acknowledging Trauma

Religious trauma thrives in silence, where its effects often go unspoken or misunderstood. Many people don’t immediately recognize the harm they’ve endured because they’ve been conditioned to see it as normal or deserved. However, healing begins with naming the pain and acknowledging its impact.

Reflecting on your experiences may bring up difficult emotions, but it’s a powerful step toward reclaiming your story. Consider these questions:

• What messages did I internalize about my worth, identity, or relationships?

• How did these teachings shape my sense of self?

• What memories or feelings arise when I think about my religious experiences?

Acknowledging the harm is not about dwelling on the past but about bringing what’s hidden into the light. By doing so, you create the foundation for transformation.

Embracing the Complexity of Healing

Healing from religious trauma is rarely straightforward. It involves unraveling layers of harm that may be tied to identity, belonging, and even spirituality itself. For many LGBTQIA2S+ individuals, religion wasn’t just a set of beliefs—it was a source of connection and meaning. Losing or leaving that can feel like an identity crisis on top of the harm already endured.

Healing doesn’t mean you must reject all spirituality or religion. Instead, it’s about exploring what resonates and releasing what doesn’t. This process is deeply personal, and it may look different for everyone.

Here are three guiding principles for embracing this complexity:

1. Grieve the Loss: It’s okay to mourn the loss of community, rituals, or traditions that once felt meaningful. Grieving is part of healing.

2. Reclaim Your Identity: Affirm your LGBTQIA2S+ identity as whole, sacred, and deserving of love. The harm you experienced says nothing about your worth.

3. Redefine Spirituality: If spirituality feels important, explore inclusive practices or communities that affirm your identity. If not, finding peace outside of religious frameworks is equally valid.

Healing is not about replacing one belief system with another; it’s about building a life where you can thrive.

The Role of Creativity in Healing

Creativity is often an overlooked but powerful tool in the healing process. Art, music, writing, and other forms of self-expression allow us to process emotions that words alone cannot capture. For LGBTQIA2S+ individuals healing from religious trauma, creative outlets can become a space to explore identity, reclaim joy, and rewrite harmful narratives.

Consider engaging in:

• Journaling: Reflect on your journey in a safe, private space. Writing can help untangle complex emotions and clarify your thoughts.

• Art: Create visual representations of your healing journey. Whether abstract or symbolic, art allows you to express what’s within.

• Movement: Dance, yoga, or other forms of movement can help release stored trauma and reconnect you with your body.

Through creativity, you can transform pain into something meaningful and find new ways to celebrate your identity.

Navigating Guilt and Fear

Religious trauma often leaves a shadow of guilt and fear, particularly for LGBTQIA2S+ individuals who were taught that their identity separates them from divine love. These emotions are not just psychological; they’re existential, tied to fears of punishment or rejection.

Dismantling these feelings is a gradual process:

• Question the Source: Ask yourself where these feelings originate. Are they rooted in love and truth, or in control and fear?

• Surround Yourself with Affirmation: Seek out books, leaders, or teachings that frame spirituality as expansive and inclusive.

• Practice Self-Compassion: When guilt or fear arises, remind yourself that these feelings are echoes of harm, not reflections of your true worth.

Healing means rewriting your inner dialogue, one rooted in love and authenticity rather than shame.

Finding or Creating Affirming Communities

Community plays a transformative role in healing. While religious trauma often isolates individuals, affirming spaces can offer connection, validation, and joy. For LGBTQIA2S+ individuals, finding—or creating—a supportive community is often a cornerstone of reclaiming wholeness.

Ways to find community include:

• Queer-affirming faith spaces: Many denominations openly celebrate LGBTQIA2S+ members, offering spaces of love and inclusion.

• Support groups: Connecting with others who have experienced similar trauma can be validating and healing.

• Grassroots movements: Joining activists or creative collectives can provide a sense of shared purpose and connection.

If finding a community feels daunting, start small. Even one supportive connection can have a profound impact on your healing journey.

Reclaiming Joy: A Revolutionary Act

Religious trauma often seeks to rob us of joy—whether through shame, control, or exclusion. Reclaiming joy is not just part of healing—it’s a revolutionary act. Joy reminds us of our resilience, creativity, and capacity to thrive despite the harm we’ve endured.

Joy might look like:

• Celebrating milestones: Whether big or small, honor the progress you’ve made.

• Rediscovering passions: Reconnect with activities or hobbies you love but may have abandoned.

• Exploring nature: Find solace and inspiration in the natural world, where diversity is a source of beauty.

Joy doesn’t have to be grand or performative. It’s found in the moments where you feel most alive, connected, and free.

Moving Toward Wholeness

Healing from religious trauma is not a linear process. There will be moments of clarity and moments of doubt, breakthroughs and setbacks. But each step you take brings you closer to reclaiming your wholeness.

To move toward thriving:

• Focus on your identity as a source of strength: Your queerness is not a burden but a gift—one that enriches the world.

• Build a life rooted in authenticity: Whether through relationships, creativity, or spirituality, let your truth guide you.

• Celebrate your resilience: Every act of healing, no matter how small, is a testament to your courage.

Healing is not about erasing the past but about transforming it. You have the power to take the harm you’ve endured and use it to build a life where you can flourish.

A Final Word

Healing from religious trauma and adverse religious experiences as an LGBTQIA2S+ person is an act of radical self-love. It is stepping out of the shadows of shame and into the light of authenticity. It is reclaiming your story, your joy, and your worth. You are not alone in this journey. Whether you find solace in community, creativity, or your inner strength, know that healing is not just possible—it is your birthright. You are, and always have been, enough.

Embrace Healing with LGBTQIA2S+ Therapy in St. Paul & Throughout Minnesota

At NobleTree Therapy, we understand the unique pain and courage it takes to heal from religious trauma as an LGBTQIA2S+ individual. Our LGBTQIA2S+ therapists in St. Paul, MN, and throughout Minnesota are here to provide a compassionate space where you can navigate this complex journey. Together, we’ll unpack the layers of pain caused by adverse religious experiences and exclusionary practices while fostering healing, joy, and self-acceptance. Religious trauma can leave deep scars, but it doesn’t have to define your future. With LGBTQ+ therapy, we create a space where your identity is celebrated, not questioned. Here, you can reclaim your story and rebuild a foundation of self-worth and authenticity. Whether you are exploring the complexities of spiritual harm or rediscovering a sense of belonging, we’ll walk alongside you every step of the way.

If you’re ready to move forward and embrace healing:

• Contact us to schedule a free consultation

• Learn more about our therapy services and how we support LGBTQIA2S+ individuals

• Take the first step toward reclaiming your authenticity and joy

Other Therapy Services Offered at NobleTree Therapy

In addition to LGBTQIA2S+ therapy in St. Paul & throughout Minnesota, NobleTree Therapy provides a variety of supportive and specialized services to meet the diverse needs of those we serve. Our compassionate and inclusive approach ensures that every individual feels seen, supported, and valued as they navigate their unique path toward healing and personal growth. Our therapy services include Individual, Couples, and Family Therapy. In addition to these services, NobleTree Therapy specializes in areas that address unique life experiences and challenges. Our specialties include Religious Trauma & Spiritual Abuse, Creative Expression, Identity Development, and Trauma, Grief, & Loss.