There’s a certain hush that settles around us when we think of religion—especially if our personal experiences have been tangled up with judgment, shame, or rejection. For many LGBTQIA+ individuals, the faith that once seemed like a guiding light morphs into something far more complicated. Sometimes it feels like navigating a forest under moonlight, where once-familiar paths turn into ominous shadows. Yet just as a forest nurtures hidden wildflowers, our own inner landscape holds reservoirs of hope beneath layers of pain. I want to share thoughts about how you might recognize potential signs that religious trauma therapy for LGBTQIA+ folks could be beneficial for you. My hope is to help guide you out of the deep woods of confusion and shame - leading toward a clearing of compassion and self-discovery.

1. A Lingering Sense of Shame About Your Identity

First and foremost, if you catch yourself feeling a persistent undertone of shame or dread whenever you think about your identity—be it your gender expression, sexuality, or the whole collage of who you are—you might be bumping up against unresolved religious trauma. Shame, to borrow from Brene Brown, is that intensely painful feeling of believing we are somehow flawed and unworthy of love and belonging. It clings to our bones when we grow up hearing that certain parts of us—those we could never change, even if we tried—are “unholy” or “sinful.” Over time, that message becomes an inner voice that never seems to silence.

Think about how shame might show up in your everyday life: Do you feel uneasy when you hold your partner’s hand in public? Do you cringe at the thought of family gatherings? Do you struggle to fully embrace your own reflection? If so, therapy specialized in religious trauma can help unravel these messages, gently reminding you that you’re already whole.

2. Fear or Anxiety Triggered by Religious Symbols or Language

You might be casually scrolling through social media, catch sight of a religious quote, and notice that you suddenly feel your chest tighten or your breath grow shallow. Anxiety can manifest in these subtle, unexpected ways, often leading us to wonder if we’re overreacting. But our bodies, as Dick Schwartz would say, are wise ecosystems of different “parts” trying to protect us from perceived harm. A single Bible verse, the sound of a hymn, or even a stained-glass window could trigger a protective response if a deeper “part” of you still holds the memory of rejection or condemnation.

Therapy that focuses on religious trauma can help you differentiate these parts and learn how to tenderly care for them. By doing so, you begin to reclaim your own sense of spiritual autonomy. 

3. Nightmares or Flashbacks Related to Religious Upbringing

Nightmares can be sly storytellers, weaving fragments of our past into haunting narratives as we sleep. If you wake up in a cold sweat from dreams about sermons, church discipline, or the fear of eternal punishment, you might be experiencing trauma responses. These nightmares or flashbacks may occur more frequently if you’re in a current life situation that feels stressful—like coming out, starting a relationship, or even making a simple social media post about LGBTQIA+ rights.

In these moments, remember that nightmares are often a clarion call from a wounded part of us. Therapy can help you bring compassion to that wounded part, to let it know it’s safe now—that the beliefs and punishments once looming over you are no longer your present reality. 

4. Difficulty Reconciling Spirituality with Sexual or Gender Identity

Perhaps you still feel a yearning for spiritual connection, a desire to experience something sacred—be it in a church, a meditation group, or out in nature. Yet every time you begin to explore these stirrings, a voice in your head warns you that you’re “not worthy”, that you’re “living in sin”, or simply “DANGER”. This inner conflict is heartbreakingly common among LGBTQIA+ folks who were raised in religious contexts. It’s the crisis of feeling that to connect with something greater, you might have to reject a fundamental part of yourself.

LGBTQIA+ counseling can support you in gently unearthing the beliefs that tether you to shame. With careful inquiry—acknowledging each part of yourself that arises, as in Dick Schwartz’s IFS model or a trauma-based approach such as EMDR or Brainspotting—you can explore whether you still wish to practice a form of faith, or if forging a new spiritual path better fits your evolving self. 

5. Strained Relationships with Family and Loved Ones

It’s never easy to navigate a tense family dynamic, especially if your parents or extended family remain entrenched in beliefs that deny the validity of your identity. You may find yourself walking on eggshells at gatherings, trying to avoid certain topics or expressions of who you are. Or maybe you avoid family moments altogether. Over time, this can hollow out your sense of belonging and feed the lie that you’re fundamentally alone.

In therapy, you can learn healthy boundaries and communication strategies. You can also explore the grief that comes from not being seen or accepted by those who raised you. It’s a heavy burden, and you deserve a supportive space to lay it down. Brene Brown often reminds us that our stories of shame thrive in secrecy—but once they’re named and shared in a safe space, they can become catalysts for empathy and healing.

6. Persistent Internal Critic or “Protector” Voices

Sometimes, your most relentless critics aren’t your church community or family—they’re the voices in your own head. You might find these voices scolding you for wanting to wear clothes that feel more aligned with your gender identity, for being in a relationship with someone who makes your heart sing, or even for experiencing happiness. In Dick Schwartz’s IFS terminology, these voices might be “protectors,” trying to keep you safe by holding onto old rules and beliefs. But in doing so, they stifle your growth and authenticity.

Religious trauma therapy can help you recognize these protectors, hear their concerns, and gently reassure them that you’re no longer in danger. Over time, these inner critics can become allies—still vigilant, but now working in partnership with your more authentic, compassionate self. It’s an ongoing journey of integration, one that leads to a more harmonious inner landscape.

7. Feeling Caught Between Two Worlds

Many LGBTQIA+ individuals with a religious background feel like they’re standing at the threshold of two vastly different worlds. On one side is a religious community that taught them about faith, hope, and love—yet often withheld acceptance. On the other side is the queer community, which offers belonging and celebration—yet might not always understand the lingering spiritual longings or unresolved religious trauma. Living in this tension can be exhausting, like holding your breath and wondering if you truly belong anywhere at all.

This sense of “between-ness” is a poignant sign that religious trauma therapy could be enormously beneficial. A therapist trained in this area can help you make sense of these competing identities, weaving them together into a tapestry that honors all of who you are. You don’t have to abandon your faith tradition if it still feeds your spirit, nor do you have to mask or diminish your queer identity for spiritual acceptance. 

8. Moving Toward Healing and Wholeness

If any of these signs resonate with you, please know you’re not alone. Healing from religious trauma is akin to wandering in the wilderness until you stumble upon a soft meadow, the kind Mary Oliver might describe in her poems—brimming with color, alive with possibility. The path there isn’t always straightforward, but each step is an act of courage and self-love. Brene Brown talks about “owning our story” so we can write a brave new ending. That story is easier to hold when we have guides: supportive friends, affirming spiritual communities, and skilled religious trauma therapists who understand what it means to carry both the burden of faith-based wounds and the gift of a resilient LGBTQIA+ identity.

Recovery won’t erase your memories or guarantee a future free of triggers. But it can offer you a deeper sense of compassion for yourself, permission to exist without apology, and a chance to build a life that resonates with your truest self. 

So if you’ve been feeling a persistent pull—an intuitive nudge that keeps whispering, You deserve more than this ache—trust that it might be time to reach out for help. There is no shame in seeking therapy, no weakness in admitting you need support. Acknowledging your vulnerability can be one of the bravest steps you take. It’s also an invitation to recognize and welcome every part of yourself, granting each one room to be heard. With gentle curiosity and a sense of wonder, you may discover that your wounds and your strengths can coexist, forming the unique tapestry that is you.

Experience the Benefits of Religious Trauma Therapy for LGBTQIA+ Folks in Minnesota

At NobleTree Therapy in St.Paul, we know how deeply religious trauma can affect LGBTQIA+ individuals, shaping self-worth, identity, and belonging. If past faith experiences have left you carrying shame, fear, or self-doubt, you don’t have to process it alone. Our experienced LGBTQ therapists provide a compassionate space to help you untangle harmful beliefs, navigate family dynamics, and reclaim your sense of self. Healing in religious trauma therapy isn’t about erasing the past—it’s about stepping into a future where you can exist fully, without apology. If you’re ready to begin this journey:

• Connect with us in a complimentary consultation

• Learn more about our LGBTQIA+ therapy services

• Take the first step toward healing and self-acceptance today

Other Inclusive Therapy Services Offered in the Minneapolis Area and Throughout Minnesota

Our dedicated LGBTQ-affirming therapists offer a broad range of compassionate, specialized services to support diverse healing journeys. We are committed to creating an inclusive space where every individual feels heard, valued, and empowered. Our services include Individual Therapy, Couples Counseling, and Family Support, helping to nurture meaningful relationships and personal growth. We also provide expert support for those navigating Creative Expression, Identity Development, and Grief, & Loss. At NobleTree Therapy, we prioritize your well-being, offering guidance that fosters authenticity, connection, and lasting resilience.